Saturday, June 15, 2013

Why are we Here?


Purpose

What are we doing here?  What is our purpose?  Why do we go through the motions?  What’s the meaning of life?  No human being in the history of humanity hasn’t asked these questions at some point.  We all wonder what we are doing here.  And the truth is, we all have a different purpose.  No two journeys are the same.  But, as I have mentioned before, I think the purpose is to leave your space better than it was when you found it.  We don’t ever perfect ourselves or the people or places we are responsible, but we should always try to make a positive impact.  Of course, positivity is relative.  We all have different interpretations of what is beneficial, of what is beautiful, of what is worthwhile.  For the most part, however, we all agree that kindness, compassion, and conscientiousness are all virtues.  So, that’s a good place to start when you are looking to figure out your purpose.  Of course, it is also possible that some people have no purpose, except to serve as a warning to others.  I have suspected for a while that I may be one of those people. 

Calamity Jane

Remember when I lost my birth certificate and my social security card?  Remember when I lost Radley’s birth certificate?  Remember when I locked myself out of the house, three times in one week?  Remember the injuries sustained from having to climb through the bathroom window?  How about the time that my kid got naked in a giant plastic bag in the front yard?  Or how about the time he took a dump in the neighbor’s driveway?

Then that time a couple of years ago when the weed whacker nearly severed my foot from my leg at the ankle.  There was that winter that I spent without heat.  And a couple of weeks ago…when the washer broke.  No, wait.  It didn’t just break.  It broke with a large load of laundry, after it was full of water.  Now today, with the one million pieces of tempered glass on my back patio from the PEBBLE that hit the door when I was cutting the grass.  That’s why they call me CJ. 

Am I making a case for myself yet? I may be that person.  I may be that warning.  I may be the glaring, red flag that reminds you to respect karma. 

The Small Stuff

Yes.  I am very well aware that this is all small stuff.  Nobody died.  Nobody suffered.  Nobody was injured.  Ok.  I was during that weed whacker incident a couple of years ago.  I almost lost a foot, for Christ’s sake.  But generally, I get off pretty easy, all things considered.  Sometimes there’s a little embarrassment or a bruised ego or some time spent repairing the damages.  It’s the small stuff though, right?  But what about when a lot of little shit adds up?  Does that make it big stuff?  Can we quantify that?  Do I deserve a break? 

Yes, this is going exactly where you think it’s going…

Pitty Party

Let me just start by saying that I understand my place in the universe.  I am grateful for EVERYTHING that I have.  I am fortunate on so many levels.  I have a smart, beautiful, healthy child.  I have a great job, that I love.  At least I do for the next 4-6 weeks.  More to follow on that later.  I have the most AMAZING collection of friends, family and colleagues that any girl has ever been graced with ever.  Not only am I lucky, I am charmed.  My life is good.  Now, with all of that said, let me say this:  I AM SO SICK OF THIS SHIT!!!!  I do not want to clean up that glass in the back yard.  I don’t want to get the water out of the washing machine.  I don’t want to snake my own toilet!!!!!  I don’t want to be reliant on the people I love to help me when things go bad.  I just want ONE DAY that I don’t have to worry about life.  One.  Day.  Is that unreasonable? 

Now, Enter Reason

Yeah.  It is unreasonable to want to take a hiatus from life.  Because it happens every day.  You can’t stop it.  It’s there.  First thing in the morning.  Before you go to bed at night.  And every single second in between.  Life is always there.  You don’t get a break.  You don’t get a time out.  You only get a delay of game penalty if you take too long getting it together.  It doesn’t matter if it’s little issues or big issues or issues that shouldn’t be issues at all.  You have to make a positive effort to make a positive difference in life.  That’s our purpose.  That’s how we make our corner of the world better than we found it.  That’s how we find our inner peas. 

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