Priorities

First Things First

 I have two priorities:  1.)  Radley.  2.)  Wine.  That’s it.  These are the two most important things in my life.  Yes, I know that you are, yet again, enamored of this display of exceptional parenting.  But if we are being honest here, that’s how I prioritize.  At least I didn’t say wine first.  And don’t get me wrong, I have other priorities, too:  Family, friends, shoes.  I’m not that shallow.   Anyway,  point being,  I can’t provide for Radley or provide myself with wine without other priorities.  I can’t give Radley food, clothing and shelter without a source of income.  I can’t enjoy a moment of solitude with an oaky, fruit forward vintage without a job.  So, even though Radley and wine are the two most substantial entities in my life, I can’t just focus on them.  I need to maintain employment.  Somehow.  So are they really first?  Are they really my priorities? 

Skewed

This is how priorities get skewed.  We know we love our children.  We know that the most reasonable among us, also, love wine.  These aren’t unrealistic priorities.  In fact, these priorities are meaningful.  But how will we substantiate our priorities?  How will we make sure that these needs are fulfilled?  Well, we do it by working to provide for our priorities.  So, then, work becomes a priority.  By getting up in the morning and going to work and performing our occupational functions to the best of our ability, so that we can ensure a means viable employment, we are sustaining what is important to us. 

But when we go to work, we find ourselves prioritizing things a little differently.  When I am at work, my job is the priority.  The people who depend on me are my priority.  The patients, the doctors, the corpsmen.  Those people become my priority.  Therefore, for 8-10 hours a day, Radley and wine stop being the most significant aspects of my life.  And I take on the burden of 1300 people on any given day.  Yes.  I am there only to provide for my child and my way of life.  But both of those things hit the back burner the minute I log on to my computer in the morning.  Suddenly, the things that matter most are physicals and records and pulled hammies.  Starting at 7:AM, politics and bureaucracy and bullshit take precedence…over everything.  And, of course, I love my job.  I’m not complaining about it.  I am grateful for what I have and “benefits” from working there.  (“Benefits” in quotation marks because they aren’t actual benefits.  I don’t even have health insurance.)  But I love my job.  Also, I have priorities.  That’s the point. 

Priorities

So what are those priorities, exactly?  I am pretty sure I explicitly laid out what my priorities at the beginning of this diatribe.  But, this morning, as I was getting ready to go take an employment-contingent test, I read something very relative.  On Facebook.  My dear friend Travis, who by the way has a very insightful blog (check it out:  bit-thinking.com/), posed the question “How often do we carry around someone else’s priorities with us?”  Uh….Forever?  We ALWAYS carry priorities that are not our own.  That’s why our priorities are skewed.  Even though our intentions are genuine and our priorities are valuable, we can never solely focus on what is important to us. 

Today, as I was getting ready to take a test that has no relevance in my life, no relevance in my job, no relevance to my employers, NO RELAVANCE AT ALL TO ANYONE, I was reminded that we always are responsible for someone else’s priorities.  So, this morning, as I drove an hour to take a test that my employment hinges on, even though it won’t change  my scope of work, I found some peas.  We will always have hurdles, obstacles and hoops.  We will always have to be responsible for someone else’s priorities, even if they are irrelevant.  Our priorities will always be contingent on appeasing someone else.  But as long as we can remember why we make asinine sacrifices for others, we will know our inner peas.