I know I’ve touched on it before, maybe as recently as
yesterday, but weird shit happens in my brain.
Then again, weird shit happens in my life, too. That may be a cause and effect issue. Or it just may be crazy. Either way, my brain and my life are
weird. There’s all this thinking
happening and all of this stuff going on.
I’m really easily overwhelmed. I
lose focus really easily. Right now, for
example. What was I saying? Oh yeah…Weird stuff. So, this morning. I spent this morning with my ex husband. I spent it with a lot of other people,
too. Radley. Friends.
Colleagues. Strangers. People.
Stuff. Things. I don’t really do any of that very well. I’m kind of a hermit. Ok, totally off subject again. What was I talking about?
Oh, yeah. I spent the
morning with my ex husband. I got up
early. I stopped at Starbucks. Did you know that two mochas cost $10 now? I didn't know that. Anyway, moving forward, I drove to his house. It’s the weekend, so Radley was there with
him. We got in the car and made an hour
and a half long road trip to where we were going. We only got lost twice. That’s a pretty significant improvement from
when we were married. Back then, we’d
take at least six wrong turns because we’d fight about the directions. We don’t have to fight anymore. We aren’t married now. The two navigational detours came because I
wasn’t paying attention to the GPS. He
didn’t even get mad at me. He just
laughed and said “are you sure we should be in Stockton?” We weren’t supposed to
be in Stockton. Anyway, we deal with our
shit a lot better now that we aren’t married.
It’s weird.
When we were married, just deciding to go to a movie or a
party was a fucking nightmare. Getting
there was even worse. After we finally
decided to do something, we would have found 12 different things to fight
about. We’re not married anymore
though. So, this morning, when I pulled
up to Mike’s house, 25 minutes late, he said nothing. I went inside, gave Radley a cupcake, smoked
a cigarette and got on the road. Mike
and I talked about a lot of things. We
talked about work and Christmas and the fucking wackos who keep coming out of
the woodwork. There are a lot, by the
way. As an aside, if you have a weird
feeling about someone, go with your instinct.
Those people are probably creepier
than you could have ever imagined.
Truth.
Anyway, back to the point at hand. I spent the morning with my ex husband. And some great friends. At one point, I realized that I hadn’t
introduced Mike to one of those friends, but they had already been talking like
they went to kindergarten together, so I didn’t’ really think anything about
it. Then I thought “maybe this is weird?” So, I said “Mel. I guess I didn’t’ introduce you to Mike! Awkward.”
And so I did a proper introduction after they had already been engaged
in conversation. She said “It’s
fine. I’ve already accepted him.” Her husband looked at her and said “you don’t
accept anybody.” She said, “Well, Angela
accepts him, so that’s good enough for me.”
We all laughed.
I kept thinking about what she said, though. I kept thinking about what she meant. Turns out, I have no idea what she
meant. I just took her words for what
they were: honest and accepting. And why wouldn’t she accept him? He’s Radley’s dad. We were at a function together. All seemed right.
Mel wasn’t the only person I introduced to Mike today
though. I realized that I introduced him
the same way every time. “This is Radley’s
dad.” I didn’t feel the need to say “Mike,
meet such and such. Such and such works
with me. I was married to Mike for 12
years and it just didn’t work out.”
Everyone knows that I’m divorced.
Everyone knows I have a child from that failed marriage. There’s no
need to make everyone uncomfortable by saying “this is my ex
husband. Yes. We are making a public appearance for the
sake of our child.” We don’t do
that. I see Mike twice a week. It’s not all flowers and milkshakes. We are raising a child together in two
different homes. That shit’s hard. We don’t see eye to eye on everything. That’ part of the reason we aren’t married
anymore. But now that we aren’t married,
we don’t’ have to fight about what we don’t agree on. We can talk about it and find a common
ground. And if we can’t, then we don’t
have to sleep together anymore. So, it’s
easier to get over.
Now, I’m not trying to say that running out on your partner
will improve your life. I AM NOT SAYING
THAT. Because, in reality, my life,
Radley’s life, and Mike’s life would all be MUCH more comfortable and convenient if
we all still lived under the same roof. What
I’m saying is that it’s amazing, that after three years, Mike and I can still
go out and do things together for our son.
It’s just a benefit that we can still talk story about our lives. Event more, it’s pretty remarkable that our friends don’t
have to choose sides. Even better, we
have amazing friends.
…Next time, I’m going to introduce him as my baby
daddy. That’ll keep 'em speculating.
-Inner Peas
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