Everybody you meet has a purpose in your life. I am a firm believer in that. Some fill a void, some provide inspiration,
and some just serve as a warning. But
every person you encounter contributes to your being, your outlook, your direction. Now, don’t get me wrong, some are only a
fleeting presence, others are more
permanent. And by permanent, I don’t
mean stationary. I mean cosmically
present. And yes, I’m getting ready to
make some haphazardly hippie statement about how we are all connected. Also,
I’m going to talk about the universe and magic and emotion. This is your warning. If you aren’t up for all that, beat it. My feelings won’t be hurt.
So, anyway, people.
They find a way into your life for a reason. When we think about people serving a purpose
in our lives, we tend to think about the people who have made the biggest positive
impact. I do, anyway. We all have those people who have been such an
influential force, that we can’t help for but remember them. For me, there are many. With those people, there is no amount of
time, no distance, no time zone that can keep us apart. These are the people, with whom I am so
spiritually connected, that I would wake from a dead sleep if they got a paper
cut. We all have those people. Those people who know when you are sad or forlorn
or lonely. They also know when your
heart is happy and your soul is right. For
the most part, I call these people my soul sisters. Not all of them are sisters, some are
brothers. But you get the point. These bitches are everywhere. Down the street. Across the country. On a different continent. When I feel, they feel. When they smile, I smile. I’m pretty fucking lucky to have this invisible
web that connects my soul to them, and theirs to me.
And let’s be honest, we all feel that connection with some
people. That’s not a hippie thing. That’s not a spiritual thing. That’s a human thing. We all find people who we connect with
because they make us feel better. We
attach ourselves to others who understand our journey. We acknowledge the connections that offer
light and support. Those are the
relationships we consider sacred. But I’m
starting to think that cosmic connection isn’t always with those who understand
and support you. I’m starting to wonder
if we have a psychic link with those who don’t understand everything we feel,
but still know when we need them. Or
maybe they know when we don’t need them, and that’s when they make an appearance. It’s a darker, more ambiguous connection, but
a connection all the same. I think a lot
about a passage from Liz Gilbert’s memoir Eat. Pray.
Love. When she is talking to
Richard, the addict turned spiritualist.
Richard tells Liz, “People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and
that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul
mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back,
the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your
life. A true soul mate is probably the
most important person you will ever meet, because they tear down your walls and
smack you awake. But to live with a soul
mate forever? Nah. Too painful.
Soul mates come into your life just o reveal another layer of yourself
to you. Then they leave. “
So, I told you that story, to tell you this story. The other day, I was getting ready to go out
on a date. Hold your applause; I’m still
emotionally repressed. It took a lot to
commit to that date. But I had to do
it. For a several reasons. First, because I don’t want to get too used
to curling up with my cat and Dexter
on DVD every night. There’re only eight
seasons. Eventually, I’m going to run
out of entertainment. Second, I made the
mistake of telling my soul sisters, and they really weren’t onboard with my
ideas of self sabotage. I had no choice
but to go out with a man who is entirely too good for me. So, I had committed to it. Then, the morning of this psychological
double-dare, the phone rang. Guess
who. I should have known. This always happens. Every time I need to go get ready for
something else, the same call comes.
Every. Single. Time.
For the last three years. Nothing
particular to talk about. Just to say “hello”
and “how’s work?” and “the boy must be big now.” My girlfriends always say “What the
fuck? Does he have you under surveillance? How does he know???” I know that he doesn’t. They do, too.
As much as they hate him, they know that there is a reason that he’s
always there. They know that there is
something in the universe that keeps us connected. It’s the cosmic leash that one of us needs to
chew through before either one of us can do anything else.
Our soul sisters and brothers get us. They are there to support and love us. They can feel what we feel. They know when we need them. But a soul mate is different. That’s the person who shows up when you don’t
want them to be there. They make an
appearance for no other reason than to make you question your entire
being. They are the mirror, in the
florescent lighting, that makes you examine all of your flaws, that makes you
re-evaluate what your soul looks like.
As Richard from Texas told Liz in Eat. Pray.
Love. “A soul mates purpose is to shake you up,
tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break
your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of
control that you have to transform your life…”
Richard is right, living with a soul mate would not only be
too painful, but it would be impossible.
I think it’s nice to know that you have them, though.
-Inner Peas
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