Thursday, July 18, 2013

Boobs: Revisited


Introductions

From now on, when I meet someone and I am not in the mood for bullshit, I will lie topless on a table with lubricant all over my chest.  That’s how I met my Radiologist, Dr. Lomax.  I have never actually met a radiologist before.  I’ve worked in the field for a long time. And I’ve NEVER met one.   I kind of assumed that radiologists were mythical creatures who sat in dark rooms and waited for images of the inside of the human body to pop up on the wall, then dictated their findings to into a microphone and, suddenly, three or four days later, a radiology report showed up on the fax machine.  That or they were hiding from malpractice suits.  After all, radiologists are number ONE on the list of medical specialists sued in malpractice claims.  Number one.  I’d hide from that, too.  

Anyway, I was laying there on that sterile table with my boobs hanging out when Dr. Lomax walked in.  The radiology technician had just finished shooting no less than 40 images of my breasts  when she said,” I’m going to get the doctor.”  You never want to hear that when you finish with a mammogram and an ultrasound.  What you want to hear is “Call your doctor in three days.  She’ll have the results by then.”    But because of all the anxiety, and the fact that I didn’t believe that radiologists actually existed, I didn’t bother to sit up or, for that matter, cover up.  Then he walked in.  I looked at him and he offered me his right hand.  He said “Hi Angela.  My name is Scott.  I’m one of the radiologists on staff here.  I’m just going to take a look at what we’re doing.  Is that OK?”  I didn’t even shake his hand.  I was naked from the waist up on an exam table.  All I said was “Look Doc, this has been the most excruciating month and a half in my entire life.  I just want to finish up and go back to work.”  So, he grabbed that ultrasound wand did his job.  I didn’t look at him.  I didn’t look at the monitor.  I just held my breath and prayed for it to be over.  Finally, he said, “Ok.  Look up here.  Do you see that?  It’s a cyst.  You have fibro-cystic condition.  It’s not a disease.”  Finally I breathed.  Then he said, “Two of them are what we call ‘complicated,’ because they have ruptured, but they aren’t actually complicated.  We’ll check it with an ultrasound in six months to put your mind at ease.  Or we can biopsy it right now, if it’ll make you sleep better tonight. “  I didn’t have any words.  Did a doctor, a radiologist even, just tell me how it is without even batting an eye?  No bullshit.  No pretense.  No malpractice concerns???  Huh. Is it possible this guy’s legit?

IT’S NOT CANCER!!!!!!

That’s what I was thinking as I forked over the $400 for the mammogram and the ultrasound.  But at that moment it was worth it.  And as I drove, a little too fast, back to work, that’s I’ll I could think.  I knew it wasn’t cancer.  At least, I wanted to think it wasn’t cancer.  Because I do have a family history, and that makes me high risk.  On the other hand, though, I’m young and small breasted.  I was probably OK.  But the statistics show that it does not MATTER what your age or cup size is.  We are all at risk.  Anyway, I drove back to work, finally breathing without hyperventilating.  The first stop I made was to the schoolhouse to see my besties.  I had to tell them.  And when I say I had to tell them, I had to tell everyone.  So, as I walked down the hallway, I stuck my head in every door and I screamed “IT’S NOT CANCER!!!!”  I didn’t have to yell, they were all sitting less than five feet away from me.  Everyone came out of their offices and hugged me and I started talking.  I talked about the experience.  I talked  about the pain.  I talked about the embarrassment of not having health insurance.  And the discrimination that comes with being uninsured.  And they all listened as I talked.  Because they are well insured and it was an eye opener that someone they know, love and work with doesn’t have health insurance. And I felt accomplished because I had an audience.  And I felt like a warrior. 

Broken

Then I talked to one of my nearest and dearest sisters on the other coast.  One of those women who have been with me every second of the last six weeks…no, scratch that…one of those women who have been with me every second of my whole life.  And she recently had a similar experience.  Only she was insured.  So she didn’t have to fight for a mammogram.  She didn’t have to struggle for a doctor to take her case.  She didn’t have to wait for results from her biopsy.  She got it all.  And she took it on the “good” advice from her respected health care professionals that slicing into her breast was the best treatment plan.  So, instead of terrifying a radiology tech into talking a radiologist out of his hole to explain to circumstances of a fibro-cystic condition, she was made to believe that the best possible treatment was $6,000 worth of procedures.  At the expense of her body. 

So, somebody.  Please tell me that the system isn’t broken.  Somebody tell me that the weeks of heartache and humiliation I spent only to fork out five hundred dollars, start to finish, to have a mystical image reader walk into a room and tell the truth about my condition is Ok.  On the other hand, tell me why my friend who didn’t have to pay a dime out of pocket for six thousand dollars’ worth of diagnostics had to forego a part of her BODY, her identity to get the same results.  System’s not broken though, right? 

I don’t think we’re done here

I know this isn’t a very enticing threat, but I promise you, this conversation is NOT over.  For tonight, I will take solace in a good outcome.  I will revel in the fact that I didn’t lay down for this.  I will be grateful for an honest doctor.  I might even sleep more than two hours.  But I will not forget how humbling the experience has been.  I will not forget the people who stood by me.  And I won’t forget to remind you how the system is busted.  Because inner peas requires a little spunk. 

 

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