Do. Less.

Right after the New Year, I was at lunch with one of my besties.  As all women do at the start of a new year, we talked about what we were going to do differently this year.  We talked about all the shit we had been through over the last year.  Then she put down her pizza and looked at me over her Diet Coke and, with conviction, she said:  “Do less.”  I stared at one of my dearest friends like she just beamed down from a flying-fucking-saucer.  Real matter of fact, she said again “DO.  LESS.  That’s our New Year’s Resolution.” 

Do.  Less.  (???)

Well, for women like us, doing “less” isn’t really an option.  There’s always something more to be done.  There’s always something.  Something more to do.  We always see a wrong to right.  We always see a friend to help.  We always see a couch to move.  We always see crazy and feel a need to counter it with more crazy.  Doing less isn’t for us.   Doing less isn’t an option for people who see a bigger, better way to do things.  Exceeding the standard was the only option. 

Do Less.  (!!!)

But then I did so much, that I had met the standard.  After time, I didn’t just meet the standard.  I owned the standard. I hadn’t only exceeded the standard, I dictated what the standard should be.  I did what I was supposed to do.  I did what other people were supposed to do.  I did things that other people never expected of me.  I became the go-to.  I was the girl you called when you had a bad day.  I became the girl you told other people to call when they had a bad day.  I was the fixer, but I could never fix myself. How could I?  I was too busy fixing everything else.   No fix was ever good enough, though.  There was always more to be done.  More saving to be done.  More shit that needed fixing. 

NO!!!  Do MORE!!!

Turns out, we are conditioned to do more.  MORE. MORE.  MORE!!!!  We have to do more, or we won’t survive.  We have to perform better, or we will lose our jobs.  We have to entertain our children, or we will lose their love.  We have to be extravagant lovers, or we will lose our partners.  DO MORE!!!!  And do it NOW!!!  Right now!  You know what MORE gets you?  It gets you more reservations.  It gets you less time with your children.  It gets you fewer orgasms. 

Fuck it.  Do less. 

We always think that we should be doing MORE.  We are so intimidated by what might happen if we don’t do MORE.  We want to be in control.  We want to be right.  We want to do RIGHT.   By everyone.  Well, guess what?  We won’t ever be the most.  We won’t ever be in control.  We won’t ever be right.  Even when we think we are doing right, we still find out that we are wrong.  So, as it turns out, it is in our best interest to do less. 

Today, seven months after we had first discussed the idea of “doing less,” I told Jillian “I’ve finally decided to do less.”  She laughed and asked me if I was happy.  The question was kind of tongue in cheek.  After all, she knew I was happier than I was two days ago.  Because in two days I have lived more life than I had in the last two years.  In the last two years, I have seen people laugh.  I have seen people cry.  I have seen people be sick.  I have seen people want to be sick.  I did all of that while I was doing more.  What I haven’t seen in the last two years is what goes on outside of doing “more.”  I haven’t seen my child laugh after 6:PM.  To be quite honest, I have seen other people after 6:PM.  I haven’t had the energy to deal with other people after 6:PM.  Because I was TOO BUSY DOING MORE!!!! 

Point is this:  MORE during your 9-to-5 means nothing if you have MORE between 5-to-9.

 Do less.  It means more. 

-Inner Peas