Rain

You know that sound?  The sound that makes you think more than any sound you’ve ever heard.  The sound of rain outside your door?  The sound of the wind in the trees?  The sound water beating against the sand.  The sound of snow gathering on your window.  Maybe it’s simply the sound of silence.  You know that sound right?  The sound that makes your forget all the other sounds. The sound that gives you peace.  The sound that defines you…Maybe not outwardly, but the sound that, inwardly, gives you solace.  We all have that sound.  The sound takes you back to a place.  That place consumes your thoughts, your emotions.  It takes you back to a time when life was simple…A time when life had the possibility of making sense. 

For me it’s the rain.  I have so many memories in the rain.  Running home from the bus stop, because I didn’t want to get wet.  Getting splashed by boys at school in a mud puddle, like that was the worst thing that could ever happen to me.   The first time I drove in the rain, terrified because the wipers on that old Plymouth Valiant, were also circa 1963.  I had a lot of scary times in the rain.  With that old Karmann Ghia.  Cruising the coastal mountains, from Willits to Upper Lake to Fort Bragg and back again. With water coming up through the floor boards.   I was never comfortable with the rain when I was growing up.  Then I moved to Washington state.  Hahahhahaa.  Not funny.  Came back to California.  Sat in the rain.  A lot.  Moved to Alaska.  Also, not funny.  Came back to California.  Again.  To the rain on the North Coast.  Hahaha.  NO!!!  Stop it with the weather.  The first year I was back in California, it rained more than I had ever seen before.  Anywhere.  Bellingham.  Kodiak.  D.C.  All of those places combined.  Ugh….

Well, this is what I have learned from the rain:  the reason we don’t like the rain is that it gives us a chance to sit and think.  We don’t’ want to think.  We just want to be.  We want to be without doing anything.  On the other hand, the sun gives us the opportunity to do a lot more f things.  The sun demands a lot from us.  It makes us get up in the morning.  The sun makes us want to fill the daylight hours because they are precious.  The sun demands that we mow the grass and pull the weeds.  The sun gives us more chances to live with vengeance.  And that is really scary. 

Tonight, I listened to the rain pour down.  I’ve been waiting for the rain.  I’ve been waiting for a time I could just sit and listen to the skies to relieve their angst, I’ve been waiting for a time that I could cry, and have my tears muffled by the universe.  I keep waiting for the rain to stop, but just as I can’t stop crying, the rain won’t stop falling. 

-inner peas