Mirror, Mirror

I love the interwebs.  Just when I think I’ve seen it all or heard everything, the Google always provides me with a refreshing break from the monotony.  Even if I don’t know if what I’m reading should be classified as refreshing, at least there’s always something different.  So, today, I read this blog.  I do that a lot more now, since I started my own blog.  It’s a courtesy.  Mostly because there are a lot of good ideas out there that aren’t actually “good” enough to be printed.  Anyway, I was reading this blog, “Couples & Crap” or something like that.  The title of the post was “Man Successfully Sues Wife for Ugly Children.”  Despite your first thought, it’s an interesting read.  Google it. 

Did you?  Google it?  Ok, now, after you get over the absurdity of the story, how about the content of that guy’s post?  I admire his honesty.  Essentially, he said that when he looks at a woman, he sees her physical attributes and her potential for raising his children.  I can’t argue either of those points.  Anyone who tells you that character is the first thing they notice when they’re attracted to someone is fucking lying.  Also, in the event you actually want to procreate, you should ABSOLUTELY consider the parenting potential of prospective mates.  It’s just good planning.  So, this guy is honest and he has some very relevant points.  And I can appreciate that. 

Then I read, and re-read what he was saying.  It wasn’t the lawsuit that was bothering me.  It wasn’t the fact that he admitted to being shallow and self absorbed.  It wasn’t that he said, in more words, that he was looking for a woman who would make his children beautiful and successful.  It wasn’t even his point about women “objectifying” themselves more than men ever could.  Those were all genuine statements.  Even if I don’t agree with them, I revere the honesty in the sentiment. I think the reason I couldn’t stop reading, is because I wanted to make sure I wasn’t misunderstanding the value he placed on women.  The value was beauty, which is valid, but the beauty he described was very one dimensional:  Either you’re born with it or you’re not.  And if you weren’t born with it, then you have no substance. 

Now.  Prepare yourselves.  This is a secret, so don’t tell anyone, but I’m not a natural blond.  I have a girl who does that for me.  Another secret, my face doesn’t actually maintain a summer tan all winter long.  I wear a very expensive color-correcting primer under my foundation.  Also, the shoes that I demand you compliment , have deformed my feet with calluses and ingrown nails.   AND!  And, five years ago, I weighed 250 pounds.  I hated it, so I did something about it.  (By something, I mean Weight Watchers and the treadmill.)  I perform these measures of vanity for one reason:  I want to feel better.  Not because I want to objectify myself.  I just want to smile. 

The first 30 years of my life, I was afraid to look in the mirror, because I knew that the reflection was hideous.  Even though I grew up with two hippie parents who wouldn’t acknowledge physical beauty, I lived in a society that conceded to it.  I did everything to bust the stigma.  I was a cheerleader.  I was class president.  I got good grades.  But, on many occasions, I came home from school in tears because of some hateful comment about my looks or my potential.  Those comments always came from assholes with the same perspective as the guy who wrote that commentary about the Chinese man who sued his wife for not disclosing her “ugly” history.  Men who insist that only women who are genetically gifted with beauty, are worthy of bearing their children. 

Seriously, this guy compared hemophilia and downs syndrome to ugly.  That, in itself, is ugly.  And ignorant.  You can be as honest as you want; I’ll always give you credit for your candor.  But when your honesty only reveals your shallow nature, then FUCKYOUMOTHERFUCKER.  A pretty face doesn’t amount to good parenting.  And it’s nice that you try to cover your intentions with words like “healthy” and “maternal.”  But since you’re being honest, allow me to be as well:  You mean “sexy” and “submissive”  Again, I say, FUCKYOUMOTHERFUCKER.  I’ve had the misfortune of having sex with better men than you, and I’ve lived to regret it.  But still, I’m doing way better than the chosen beauty who will grow and raise your children while you sit back and revel in your trophy wife and the gifted children she raised for you.  By the way, this woman will grow to hate you so much, it will make her physically ill to have sex with you and your children won’t ever appreciate you for more than their allowance. 

And I’m gonna keep dying my hair, too.  Because genetics gave me gray at 25.  I’m going to continue to get my eyebrows waxed, because I like two better than one.  I’m going to keep wearing skirts and heels, because it makes me feel better about myself.  Also, I’m going to teach my child discipline, but still not reprimand him for saying the eff word in appropriate situations.  I’ll do all because it makes a difference.  And also, I’ll do it just to spite you. 

-Inner Peas