Writing

 

Why Write?

I sometimes feel pretentious posting to this blog.  I mean, come on…Do I really think that the ideas and feelings I write about are important enough to share with the ENTRE internet?  Of course, I don’t.  But I do hope that, on some level, the things I write about are relatable to others.  And in all honesty, I write for release.  I write to find peace.  I write to connect with my feelings.  I write to expel the demons.  If we have ever met, and we all have, you know that I am the proverbial “open book.”   That’s the reason I share my written thoughts in such a public forum…because when I can talk through the crazy, and occasionally, when other people understand it, I feel more at ease with my journey. 

Escape (Metaphor…sort of): 

Some people run.  Some people read.  Some people nap.  Some people listen to music.  Some people play music.  Some write.  The point is we all need a release.  We all need a place to go where we can let our minds be free for a little while.  We need a place where the responsibilities of the day can be reduced to insignificance.  Even if only momentarily.  Life is overwhelming.  We have to find an escape.  You may lift weights.  Or cook.  Or cross stitch.  Or light a candle.  I write. 

AAAAGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!  (ßThat’s what it sounds like in my brain.  EVERYDAY.):

I don’t know what the inside of your head sounds like, but mine is always very loud.  Lots of yelling.  Lots of profanity.  Lots of urgency.  All.  The.  Time.  Every waking moment, my conscious is screaming at me to do something.  Get out of bed.  Feed the cats.  Feed the kid.  Answer the phone.  Get to that meeting.  Pay the bills. Get gas. Cut the grass. Don’t forget milk.  FOR CHRIST’S SAKE!!!  COOK DINNER!!!!  Every minute of every day, there’s something.  In my head, there is never one second of silence. 

So, it’s interesting that after all of the years of therapy, with countless therapists who told me “Keep a journal.  Write down your thoughts.  That can be your release.”  I finally did.  And it actually works.  Hundreds of hours on a sterile couch and who knows how many thousands of dollars spent listening to “professionals” tell me how to fix my crazy.  It turned out to be the same advice my dad gave me when I was nine years old that saved me.  (Lesson:  Maybe listen to your parents.  They aren’t as dumb as they look.)

The Challenge:

Sometimes I turn on the TV when I don’t want to think about reality.  Sometimes I drive a quarter mile to the coffee shop when I think I don’t have time to walk.  Sometimes I microwave a dinner for Radley when cooking seems like too much work.  This is the thing...sometimes we take advantage of the conveniences in life, simply because they are convenient.  But very seldom do we feel fulfilled by what is convenient.  I never feel smarter after I watch TV.  I never feel more energized after driving to the coffee shop.  I never feel like a better parent when I feed Radley something out of the microwave.  But sometimes, we have to take advantage the simplicity technology has allowed us.  On the other hand, sometimes we need to forget that simplicity, and do something more challenging.  We need to read a book.  Or walk to get coffee.  Or cook a meal from scratch. It seems contradictory, but it’s the challenge that allows for escape.  That’s why we push our bodies, our minds, and our spirits.  Because we can only find a meaningful escape by challenging ourselves to do so…we can only find peace by working for our inner peas.