Get Away

We all need to get away sometimes.  That’s just how humans operate.  It may be our inherent need to change our pace.  It may be the nomadic genetics passed down from our distant ancestors.  It may be a fight or flight response to stressful situations.  Whatever it is, sometimes we just need to go.  Away.  Far away.  And if you need to get away, Kauai is as good a place as any to escape to.  Hawaii’s garden isle, the north and west most island, is a beautiful change of scenery and operates at a pace that is almost alien to those of us from the mainland.  If you are going to get away, do it here. 

It seems legit:  A getaway to a tropical paradise.  Who doesn’t want that?  I’ve been coming here since I was seven.  Not one time did I leave here worse off than when I came.  That’s a pretty good run for almost 30 years.  Not that it has always been a fucking carnival on these trips to the South Pacific, but I’ve never left feeling worse than I did when I showed up.  I guess, that’s exactly what I am doing here now:  trying to leave better than I was when I got here.

This morning, on the way to a hike up to the Wailua River Waterhead, we were about 20 minutes in to a 40 minute drive.  Kathy and I had bantered back and forth about life and all its shortcomings.  We had laughed about our relationships and family dynamics.  Then, at the point that the seven minute silence entered the conversation, we sat without words for a while.  She navigated her Outback over the red clay and waterlogged fjords as if she had been paid to make Subaru commercials.  I daydreamed out the window, watching the Paper Bark Trees unwind themselves. 

Breaking the comfortable silence, I started laughing.  I looked at her and said, “In the middle of all of this, I just thought to myself ‘Don’t forget to go to Costco when you get home.’”  She looked at me with eyes that said “Really. Costco?”  And I said “REALLY???  COSTCO???”  We both laughed.  I laughed because it seemed ridiculous to me that I was in a tropical wilderness with the only other human being around for miles sitting next to me.  She laughed because she knows that you can remove yourself from your environment, but you can’t remove yourself from yourself. 

That’s an important part of getting away:  Understanding your expectations.  Knowing that you won’t have to sweep your own floors or do your own dishes is a reasonable a reasonable expectation.  But if you expect that you are going to be able to get away from yourself, you are hallucinating.  And it’s going to be a really bad trip. 

So, if you do decide to get away, let me offer a little advice.  Go to a place that is quite, but not too quite.  Here, the silence is broken by the chickens and the sound of the river running over the rocks.  When you get away, make sure that you are in a place where there are dogs barking and kids laughing somewhere in the distance.  Because sitting in silence only allows your thoughts to scream at you louder. 

If you do decide to get away, go to a place where you can be by yourself, but not be alone.  Go to a place where someone can keep you grounded, but will also share thoughts and dreams with you.   Here, that person is Kathy.  She allows me to spend all the time I need by myself, but isn’t afraid to interrupt my thoughts or my writing or my comfort.  She knows when it’s time for coffee or lunch or conversation.  When you get way, make sure that you go somewhere with someone who will keep you engaged.  Because being by yourself is only healthy if you are not completely alone. 

If you do decide that you must get away, got to a place where you can be absent from your responsibilities, but present with your feelings.  Go to a place that doesn’t make you forget who you are.  Rather, go to a place that makes you comfortable with them.  Here, that place is the Wainiha River.  Sitting here is like a daily baptism.  Watching the water perpetually move through the same space every day is a poignant reminder that we should never stagnate.  Because, even if we stay in the same place, we need to move forward. 

During the hike back from the Wailua Watherhead, seemingly out of nowhere, Kathy said to me “I think that a lot of people come to Hawaii expecting to get away from life.  But there really isn’t enough distraction here to really be able to get away.  Unless they know what they are getting way from.”

-Inner Peas