Friday, August 22, 2014

I wish...


I have been noticing a lot of stuff lately.  More specifically, I have been noticing a lot of people with a lot of stuff.  PEOPLE with STUFF.  Lots of it.  Lots of people living out their dreams with all of their stuff.  Cars. Boats.  Houses.  Second houses.  Houses on wheels.  Houses with “stuff” rooms. There’s so much of it.  So much fucking stuff!!!! 

I know what you’re thinking, “Really Angela.  Stuff?  That’s the best you’ve got?” Well, it’s a Friday night and I’ve got lots of stuff.  But this is the stuff I’m focusing on today.  (Tune in next week for “The Guy Who Wouldn’t Have Sex With Me” post.) I’m not trying to be a dick or anything.  I mean, c’mon.  I have a new car in my driveway.  It has dried yogurt artistically displayed in symbolic expressionism all over both driver’s side doors.  To be candid though, I would much prefer a Tesla S in butterscotch plum in the driveway. I would also prefer my candy sweet Tesla sit in the garage of my Rockwell-esque country cottage instead of under the carport of a duplex.  But a Tesla isn’t even in the game plan.  Neither is a cottage in the country.  And just to be clear, by “the country,” I mean close enough to the city to avoid inconvenience, yet still maintaining beach and mountain accessibility without the stupidity that comes with having people live near you. 

Anyway, my point is that we all want stuff.  Nobody is immune to it.  I just became more aware of it when I left a life of comfort for a life of subsistence.  That’s when my list of wants became less about luxury and more about survival.  It is in the spirit of survival, that I present you with an up-to-the-minute list (not in list form,) of everything I want out of life right now:  I want people to be honest about how they feel.  I want them to feel comfortable saying they are sad or happy or confused.  I don’t want to hear lies or fallacies or half-truths about how they feel or think.  I want people to be good.  I want people to do right by other people.  I want them to understand what it feels like to do good to people who deserve good.  I want people to be accepting. I don’t want people to understand.  There is too much in this world to understand it all.  What I want is for people to accept and show empathy to those who bear crosses that are too heavy.   I want to not worry about how to pay for physical education and music in school.  I want to not turn on the radio in the morning and have my child ask me what it means to “bomb a hospital.”  I want to live really close to all of the people I love, preferable in a tropical location with lots of weak, fruity drinks.  Because in the tropics, with the people you love, you never need a stiff drink. 

I could go on and on and OONNNN about the things I want.  And I will, for a little while, but we will never be at a place that we get all of what we want.  For example, I want to be able to walk down the hill at work and not have someone remind me that walking in high heels is dangerous.  I want to raise my child in a place that bombs and guns are NOT considered “effective” communication.  I want to never hear about how some people hate my culture so much that they threaten my child with bloodshed.  I want more orgasms.  I want better lovers.  I want fewer fights.  I want lovely young women to see their worth and their potential and live  up to it!  I want to not see my friends post pictures on Facebook with 40 shipping containers full of mustard gas in the background.  I want my son to know that sex is good and violence is bad, not the other way around.  I want for people to understand that addiction and mental illness don’t preclude people from being functional members of society.  I just want to pay the rent and buy a new purse when need too.  I want my mom to come visit so that she can see her grandson.  I want celebrate life more than death.  I just want to us to be happy.  All of us. 

I honestly believe that we ALL want the same things.  But when those things are so seemingly unattainable, we settle for stuff.  We settle for cars and purses and houses.  We settle to fill a void.  Let’s just stop the pretense.  Stuff is shit.  Don’t fill your life with stuff, fill it with substance.  And a Tesla.  And a country cottage. 



-Inner Peas

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