Friday, October 18, 2013

Finding Home


Marquis

When I got out of college, I got this gig with a homebuilder.  It wasn’t exactly what I was expecting after dedicating four years of my life to higher education, but it was enough to pay the bills.  Marginally.  As all college graduates understand, life after education is never as glamorous or meaningful as you envision it when you are the heat of your idealism.  I was a Political Communication major at a school inside the beltway.  I was going to take that degree to law school, then, with a law degree, I was going to save the fucking world.  Poverty.  Discrimination.  Inequality.  I was going to fix it all.  Then I took the LSAT.  And it made me its bitch.  That’s how I ended up at Marquis Custom Homes.  It was a job.  And it was going to pay the rent.  And the student loans.  That’s what I needed.  So I did that. 

My time at Marquis was very short.  It was also very powerful.  I didn’t make it in to law school, the LSAT made sure of that.  But, wow, did I meet a lot of lawyers.  And politicians.  And lobbyists.  And people with a lot of power who were more than willing to spend a lot of money on a big house.  After all, big houses equate to big power, and that’s what powerful people want.  MORE!  More influence.  More image.  More power.  I soaked up every minute of it.  Every brush with celebrity.  Every extravagant home.  Every glamorous party.  Much to the dismay of my hippie parents, one day, I just stopped caring about social equality, and human rights, and fighting the good fight.  I was way too busy with other stuff.  Like rich people and lavish parties and open bars.  You know, the important shit. 

Well…turns out, as I was in the midst of reveling in the glamorous life, the housing market disintegrated.  It blew up.  It fucking imploded.  No more high profile clients.  No more parties.  No. More.  Job.  I left Marquis on pretty uncomfortable terms.  And by uncomfortable, I mean unemployed. 

That’s when I left the beltway.  No house.  No job.  No connections.   I swore I’d never go back. 

Holly Heights

I told you that story to tell you this story.  Eight years later, I was sitting in the front yard at Holly Heights with one of the people closest to my heart.  There was conversation and laughter and, a lot introspection.  Holly Heights, of course, the antithesis of Marquis.   It’s simple.  It’s subtle.  It’s unobtrusive.  Holly Heights is humble, quiet and ambiguous.  It is my utopia.  And it’s where I sit with the people I love and talkabout what is important, or maybe what has no importance at all.  

So, anyway, there I was in the front yard, sitting in a plastic lawn chair, drinking wine with a long, lost friend.  Long lost friends show up here a lot.  I don’t know why.  Anyway, we talked and laughed and watched the birds holler from the tree above.  As we enjoyed a magnificent spring sunset in the West county, I looked across the fence at the million dollar homes on the other side, and said “By this time in my life, I never expected to still be on this side of the fence.”  Darien looked at me and said “How does the side of the fence you live on matter?  How does that determine your successes or failures?”

I looked into his walnut eyes, real indignant, quite certain that I had an answer.  Then I looked away quickly when I realized I had nothing to say.  And I immediately changed to subject.  Music.  Movies.  Stuff.  Anything would be better than trying to answer the question he had posed.  So, I threw the uncomfortable questions back at him.  I glared at him over my glass of Pinot  and said “how did you get to where you are?  Why haven’t we ever talked about that before?” 

That was my response to being called out for being blessed, and insufferable, because of it.  D looked at me again, and said “I really don’t’ want to bore you with all that.”  I was already pissed.  He already called me out on my entitlement.  Small talk wasn’t going to make this any better.  And dodging questions, was only going to piss me off more.  Much to my dismay, this guy is pretty intuitive.  He knew that, so he said “I usually don’t talk about it.  Because it’s a long story.”  I glared back at him and said “I’m your ride home.  I’ve got all night.” 

Cuba

Not easily susceptible to idle threats, he looked at me and told a story I will never forget.  Ever. He looked down at the ground first; then, he stared me in the eye and relived his story.  “My dad was a really cool guy.  In Cuba.  And he’d always hang out with his friends and they’d talk a lot. I listened to what they were saying.   I’d go with my dad anywhere.  So, one day I rode a ferry with my dad to go see family. ”  My friend is real careful, even now, about how he describes their travels that day.  As he recounted the story, he didn’t reveal everything. But he related what was really important.  “We were coming back from visiting our family.  We were on a boat.”  Sounded legit.  When I lived in Bellingham, I rode a ferry every other weekend to go see my aunt and uncle on Bainbridge Island.  I got it.  Then he said “the ferry ran out of gas.”  Like it was a teenager burning every ounce of fuel  in an old beater, trying to get home after curfew.

What?  Ran out of gas?  What do you mean?  Boats just don't run out of gas.  Then, the magnitude of his story set it.  It took a few minutes.  I asked him, “Was that boat hijacked?”  He said “eh.  Maybe.”  Well, it just happened to be a very politically hostile time between Cuba and the United States.  And whether that boat was commandeered or not, there was a young boy, alone.  By himself.  Adrift. Floating towards the United States.   That was 1994. He was fifteen years old.  And alone.  Finally, he made it to Florida, with nothing except two phone numbers and his father’s blessing. 

Back at Holly Heights…

So, today I sat out front, thinking about my journey. I sat at the wine table and reminisced about the, now, defunct Marquis Custom Homes.  I thought about the days that job was going to save me.  I thought about the million dollar homes that I admired and coveted.  I thought about the lifestyle that I had once envisioned in my future.  Then I laughed.  And I laughed.  And laughed….because nothing real happened in those “homes.” Those Marquis homes weren’t real.  Then I thought about my own home, here on Holly Heights, and I thought about all the love and the reality that has passed through my threshold in the three years I have been here.  I thought about Darien.  And how I never would have had the privilege to hear his story at a ball game or at a concert or on a bar stool.  But here, at Holly Heights, he made me a better person with his honesty.   The people I know the best and love the most never hide who they are here.   The strongest people I know let me hold them close here.  And they hold me here, too.  I am pretty lucky to have dodged the Marquis bullet.  But the universe has BLESSED me with this place where there is no hatred.  No Judgment.  No facade.  It's not a law degree.  It's not fighting inequity. It, most certainly, is not a mansion on a hill, but it’s a humble home.  This is where honest stories reveal themselves.  This is where love is unconditional.  This is where life happens, and if it doesn’t happen here, it’s revisited here. 


-Inner Peas

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