Friday, August 23, 2013

Dangerous Cargo


Signals

Once upon a time, in sea going services far, far away, there was a specialized professional who was a master at communicating with other people on other vessels on the high seas.  This sailor used signs and signals in the form of lights and flags that could be seen from miles away in order to communicate the purpose and intent of the ship with which he sailed.  He was also able to read the intentions of others in the same fashion.  This guy was called a Signalman.  He was an expert at communicating without words.  Sadly for the signalman, the technological age has made his work obsolete.  However, the maritime community still recognizes many of his contributions.  Anytime you walk onto a pier you can figure out what’s happening on every boat tied up, and you can tell how they operate as a team.  Even in this era of virtual communication, ships still communicate as the signalman did.  You can see who’s boss.  That boat flies the SOPA (senior officer present afloat) pennant.  You know whose boss is there.  That boat flies the 3rd Sub (commanding officer onboard.)  If a boat has a diver down, you’ll see the delta flag.  If it’s taking on fuel, they will hoist a bravo flag.  While they are no longer required, signal flags are still used a courtesy to mariners.  They are still flown to preserve tradition.  They are a reminder for sailors to be mindful of what they are about to encounter. 

Bravo

No.  Not like “bravo, you did a great job.”  BRAVO, as in “shit’s about to get real.” 
The bravo flag is a very unsettling signal.  It indicates that there is dangerous cargo onboard.  Ships usually fly this flag when they are fueling or moving ammunition.  The bravo flag indicates dangerous cargo onboard.  And, appropriately, it is red.  And bright.  Bright red.  A bright, red flag flying from the yardarm.  You can’t miss it.  It is troublesome and a nuisance.  Young sailors recognize it as a signal that smoking is prohibited.  Older sailors realize that it’s a sign that shit could go bad real quick, if you aren’t paying attention.  Regardless of your position, the bravo flag makes you think about what you are doing.  It’s a cautionary notice to behave yourself and to check the behavior of those around you.  IT’S A WARNING!!!!!  Essentially, it says: “Be good or blow up.” 

Red flags

I’m a sucker for a good metaphor.  I love dichotomy.  I laugh at irony.  So, I hope you can appreciate this… I was a signalman.  No, I wasn’t an actual signalman.  By the time of my nautical service, the signalman rating had long since been abolished and it dissolved into another job.  The job it was dissolved into was the job that I chose when I was a sailor.  I chose to be a quartermaster for a lot of reasons, most notably, because I’m a hippie and a dreamer and I wanted to navigate my life by the stars.  But, at that time, probably 100 years ago now, quartermasters didn’t look at the stars.  They looked at the GPS.  I wouldn’t believe that though.  Just like I couldn’t believe that the signal aspect of the job was being taken care of by RF Radio.  But I was  a dreamer.  And even though I don’t remember many things from those days on the signal bridge, I do remember flirting with Navy signalmen in semaphore and flashing light.  I also remember the bravo flag. 

After I left the Coast Guard, I went to college and I I got a degree.  In communication.  Is there a pattern?   Yes.  YES!!!  After all these years of communicating with people on many different levels, and by different means, I consider myself an expert on how people interact with each other.  When my girlfriends tell me about their last date, or how their husbands respond to them, I mentally put up a red flag.  I’ll say “SISTER!!!  Don’t light a cigarette!!!  This is gonna explode in your face.”.  I can spot it.  I know a dangerous situation.  Unless it’s mine.   It’s different in my life though.  Even though I see that bright red flag on the yardarm, I still strike a match and throw it at the fuel.  “Oh, you are tortured and have commitment issues?”  I’m up for that.  I’ll love you no matter what.  “So, you are addicted to Adderall?“  Sure, let’s be friends.  Again.  After your addiction burned me before.  “You think you have a personality disorder because you don’t have the capability to  grow attached to others?”  Let’s have sex  so you can devastate me with your disconnectedness in the morning. 

Dangerous cargo

This is usually when my girlfriends look at me and say “uh…really?”  Yep. Really.  I keep lighting the match under the bravo flag.  I keep waiting for it all to explode in my face.  And just when I think that I can’t be any more destructive than I already have been, I do it again.  I annihilate my own self worth.  I destroy my psyche.  I demoralize myself.  I hoist the red flag.  The same red flags that I see in my friends lives and I always ignore in my own. 

But today is different.  Because even though I can see the red flag, I won’t ever  be a victim of them again.  Will I always love the emotionally challenged?  Yes.  Will I always be there for those people who have damaged and abused me?  Yes.  Absolutely.  But I learned today that all red flags don’t mean catastrophe.  Sometimes, when the bravo flag is flying, and you light a match, there’s someone there to blow it out before you blow up. 

-Inner Peas

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