Empathy is the ability to connect others on a very emotional and spiritual level. It seems simple. It seems very human. It seems, on many levels, to be very logical. As human beings, we are all connected, so it makes perfect sense that we should be able to relate to those around us. We are all sharing the human experience, after all. But some people do not possess the capabilities to relate with others; some just can't resonate with other people's experiences. So while we all possess the ability to empathize, not all of us can identify ourselves as being Empaths.
Being an Empath is much harder to define than, say, being a lawyer or a doctor or even a Sagittarius. Empaths don't need to touch or hear or even talk to feel what the people around them are experiencing. It might be spiritual, or theological or maybe it's just cognitive. But Empaths do more than just exhibit empathy. They can't help but feel the energy around them. They just do.
I started thinking about this a couple of weeks ago after I lost a dear friend, also an Empath, to the resounding noise in his own mind. While we were all rallying together to grieve the loss of our brother, I heard many of my loved ones say things like "I guess we will never understand what happened." Those words were blood curdling and bone shattering and heart wrenching and every other reaction your body has when you know that something just isn't right. Still, the only response I had to those comments was "I know what happened." But I had no way to explain that to those who would never understand.
I was at a loss. But shortly after I posted "My Brother's Keeper" to the blog, I got a text message from a dear friend, who in ordinary interactions, would never admit his own ability to feel the reverberate echos of what others feel. That's just too much hippie shit for him. But, make no mistake, he has it. Not just empathy, but he is an Empath. Don't tell him I said that. He'll get mad. Anyway, after the "My Brother's Keeper" post, I got this text message that read: "One of your greatest strengths is the ability you have to connect to a person's soul. You search for a reason to connect instead of a reason not to connect. This beautiful ability also creates havoc on the connection between your heart and mind."
I generally like to just blame the voices in my head and the energy in my soul to my mental well being on any given day. But something about that text message resonated with me: It's my ability, be it voluntary or otherwise, to connect with others that makes all of my interactions so emotional. Being able to see others for what they really are, not who they want to be seen for, is a pretty lofty task. By no means am I implying that I see everything or know everything or, even, feel everything. But I absorb the energy that others project. Some people can control what they take in. I haven't learned that skill so far. Because I don't have the ability to prevent over-saturation, I'm more susceptible to love, attachment, and emotion.
On a late balmy July evening, about five years ago now, one of the women closet to me in the entire universe, my soul sister in fact, asked me: "Angela. Why do you love so haphazardly? Why do you always love with more than you have when you know that most people don't have the capacity to love you back?" For years, I tried to justify that question. Not just to my soul sister, but to the many people who have had the courage to ask it after she did. I have revisited that question out loud, and in my own mind, at least a thousand times. I have wanted to be able to answer that question, not only to the people who posed it, but also for myself. I haven't ever been able to. I just like to chalk it up to my own crazy that I have never been able to come to terms with.
But that text message from two Saturday's ago now, explained it all. I'm an Empath. I love others because of their energy. I love them because of their laughter. I love them because of their pain. I love them because I can feel what they feel. It may wreak havoc between my heart and my mind, but I love people who need to be loved the most. Even when they don't need me to love them anymore.
-Inner Peas
No comments:
Post a Comment